About Me

I’ve lived a life of contrasts—moving from total underperformance to becoming an elite performer and leader across multiple contexts—military, academia, policymaking, startup technology. In time, I moved further still, from grinding hard in pursuit of “success,” to a life that emphasizes quality over quantity.  Each stage was simultaneously more fun and more successful than the previous. Each jump was made by a similar method of internal work over time—questioning, epiphany, practice.

After failing miserably in high school, barely graduating, low work ethic, lost and depressed, I enlisted in the Army to try out for the elite Ranger Regiment. It was a hail mary. Internally, I had to win—here lay my shot at some measure of redemption. But to get there, and then survive there, I had to dig deep internally. I had to address my shortcomings head on (of which there were many), and show up stronger. There wasn’t much coddling. As a Ranger, I learned firsthand about elite performance, overcoming perceived barriers, and leadership under challenging conditions. Internally, I learned a methodology of brutally honest internal inquiry. Out of this little victory, I started asking better questions. Braver questions. And I started answering with less internal propaganda and, even if it hurt, more authenticity. This method was like creating a small, internal campfire. I tended it. And I started growing.

After the Army, I went to college at the University of Colorado. I kept asking. I worked through my ADHD (the minor question) and the cocktail of guilt, perfectionism, and shame that had long accompanied it (the major question). An amazing woman became an amazing girlfriend. I kept getting stronger, and reinvesting newfound courage into more inner work. I went deeply into Zen Buddhism, studying in Japan, clearing out the sedimentary gunk of old habits and beliefs. I kept asking.

After college and grad school, I spent my career in the American foreign policy community. I rose up to be a civilian two-star equivalent Presidential appointee before I was 40, leading a large team, followed by serving as Endowed Chair for Strategic Studies at the Air Force Academy. An amazing girlfriend became an amazing wife. Externally, the path had many steps—serving in the intelligence community, serving in Iraq; conducting research for the RAND Corporation; a successful PhD grind (while raising two kids and working full time); running the Rocky Mountain Region for a defense technology accelerator. Internally, the method remained the same. Meditation, reading, hard questioning, brutally honest answering, wherever the answer took me. It worked.

And then, I stepped away. I had accomplished my career goals by the midpoint of my career. I was at the height of my professional success, and more was there for the taking.  But it was time to dream new dreams.  An amazing wife had become an amazing mother. The world was asking me different questions. I needed to do more than just “more.” I needed to do different. I kept asking. And I followed the answers, even when steep, to a still sweeter place. 

For us, that place is Spain. The new dream is to live each of these days as gravy, “all the days I didn’t die somewhere else.” The dream now is to be an Olympic-level coach, and spend my days in the dojo with folks who want to build their next version, their next great adventure.  The dream is to raise two daughters into two strong adults, able to live brilliantly.  I’m still asking the big questions. From failing completely in high school, to elite performance, to reading deeply in the hills of Andalusia, I’m still following the answers, wherever they lead.